But I've yet to set off the fire alarm!

I keep shocking myself on couches and doorknobs (and Andy, when he's around). Hello, dry Iowan weather. I loves me some static electricity. (The last statement was a lie. I'm sorry.)

I thought I'd write up a list of How Not to Burn Down the Writing Center, possibly based upon personal experience.

1. Do not microwave your socks for three minutes in an attempt to dry them out after a walk in the rain.
2. Clean out the oven before you use it - turns out that food residue left from the previous use starts to smoke when you're innocently trying to make a loaf of bread. Who knew?
   
3. Set the oven to Convection - not to Bake. It prevents the tops of your brownies or muffins from becoming something like charcoal biscuits while the middles remain stubbornly gooey.
4. Don't leave a pot of coffee on a burner and forget about it so it boils dry and the pot cracks/explodes.
5. Um. Don't be a moron, basically.
   

Fortunately, you're all smart, savvy individuals who won't make these same mistakes! And remember, as always, to remain vigilant against nuclear weapons.

- Leta