I pride myself
on having many interesting friends. One such friend of mine, a linguistics
major whom I’ve known since high school, recently returned from a four month
long foray in Europe. Whilst there, she farmed in France, played harp and flute
in market fairs, and looked at strange, modern art in a museum which professed
itself to be a center for archaeology.
We went,
yesterday, to enjoy a cup of tea and to catch up. After all, we hadn’t seen
each other for several months, and my dear friend always had plenty of stories
which I could be entertained by for hours. In addition to this, my friend and I
have something very important in common: neither of us quite know what we are
going to be doing with our lives. This is a state which, I have discovered,
many people, young and old, find themselves in but which they do not like to
talk about.
In any case,
while we sat and drank a pot of Glenburn Autumn Oolong tea, I realized
something was going in my brain; while my friend told me her stories, I was
actually listening. I wasn’t thinking
about what to cook for dinner, or what points I wanted to bring up when it was
again my turn to speak. No, indeed, I was completely absorbed in her story. I
wanted to hear all about the olives she received at a market in Italy. I wanted
to know which manuscripts she’d looked at in that library in France. I wanted
to be as engaged as possible in the conversation.
Let me say, I
don’t think I’m a bad listener. Mostly, I just lack an attention span when it
comes to conversation, a problem which has plagued me my whole life. But, I
suppose, the thing which was different about this conversation was my earnest
desire to participate in it, and to be a good participant, it’s crucial that
you be able to listen. Otherwise it’s just a monologue, and though Shakespeare
thought all the world is a stage, I tend to disagree.
When I
conference people on their writing, I try to cultivate this Art of
Conversation. I try to listen so that I may participate as best I can with the
other person. Even if their story isn’t as exciting as farming in France, it
means something to them, and I owe it as a consultant to be the best
conversationalist that I can be. Conversation is an art which must be
cultivated over time and, I have found, the best conversationalists are also
the ones who are the best listeners.
So the next
time life just gets a little to hectic, sit down with a mug of tea and remember
to listen.
As Always,
Julia
