We had a great time on our annual WC retreat a few weeks ago. Returning to Wisconsin (where our retreat was held my freshman year) and the American Players Theatre was a great throw-back for me, but the real treat was the opportunity to once again drive a 15 passenger van. I drove one of these beast my first year at Coe on a going to a Writing Center conference in Houston, and that was quite a trial. At 5’1” I am barely able to see over the steering wheel, and also have to take a running start to get into the driver’s seat. This particular road trip had been very Little Miss Sunshine with each of us stoically playing our parts. I of course got to be Olive, the little girl. But that isn’t so important.
We were driving through the boonies of Oklahoma in the middle of the night. Rob Synovec and Catie Stienman had both gotten too tired to drive, so it was my turn to take the night shift. Driving through the plaines of Oklahoma in the middle of the night is a dull experience, and so Malyssa Oblander was put in charge of keeping me awake. She failed miserably at this job, and about 2:30am Rob switched with her and took up the post of navigator and driver’s entertainment. Around 3 am we decided it was time to stop for the night, and pulled off of the main highway headed toward a town that had signs for hotels. Driving down the unlit road leading from off-ramp to town, a figure suddenly appeared in the road. It was large and bulbous and rather lifeless, but I did not have time to think or react much less slam on my brakes. Instead I proceeded to straddle this creature with the tires of the 15 passenger van. After passing over it, I came to a stop and looked at Rob. I thought I was hallucinating, of course as it was 3 in the morning and I had been going crazy in that van for the past twelve hours. The look on Rob’s face confirmed my sanity when we both realized that I had just run over a dead pig. It wasn’t just any pig, but a very large, very pink, potentially pregnant dead pig. We are talking Blue-ribbon sized pig.
We found the motel a few miles down the road and Rob got out to get us some rooms. Another van pulled up, and out came about 15 haggard looking railroad workers. One of them may actually have been a reincarnation of John Henry. He was in the top five biggest people I have ever seen. I would have liked him to be on my football team. Or really any team for that matter. Once Rob got inside, John Henry leans over to him and asks if he is the one with the van full of women. Rob says yes, and John Henry responds, “You are one lucky man.”
We went back down the same road the next morning, and there was no pig to be seen. Rob and I both saw it though. We promise. Needless to say, I love 15 passenger vans.
-Katie B.
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